Getting Along with your Roommate

In the residence life and housing world, October is officially known as “I-Hate-My-Roommate” month. What happens in October to cause this national phenomenon? Well, the honeymoon period is over and you begin to understand who your roommate really is….and she or he is not the quite the studious, quiet, angel in training he or she portrayed him or herself to be. Before you contact the Residence Life office to ask for a room change, (those are expensive and you have to move a second time in less than 3 months), here is a top ten list of how to keep your apartment from starting World War III.

10. Your roommate isn’t perfect, but neither are you. While you may think you are going out of your way to be the bigger (wo)man, you could be doing things that are unproductive to the relationship. It takes two to tango-as well as to fight!

9. While there are general definitions of “clean” and “dirty”, we were all raised in different households with different definitions of those words. We may think that our definition is better, but “compromise” is a good word to add to your vocabulary as well.

8. Don’t invite others to the roommate argument/disagreement. What I mean by this is, if you are bothered by something going on in the apartment, own it. If you and your roommate are fighting, leave it at that. You do not need to invite your best friend, significant other, pet or parent to come in and advocate for you. Do not start sentences with “Well my mom said…”. If you need assistance in having a difficult conversation with your roommate (s), contact your Resident Assistant or Residence Life staff, we are here to help.

7. Do your roommate contract as soon as possible. The document is there to get things out in the open. Do not try to hide your true feelings about an issue, because they will always come out (hence “I Hate-My-Roommate” month in October). If your roommate contract isn’t working, then ask your RA to do another one!

6. Use the residence life staff to help you with what is going on in your apartment. We are here to help. You have paid to live on campus, so use its amenities (which include our staff)!

5. Remember that your roommate is a person too! While it may be fun to vilify him or her, that is not going to improve the roommate situation. Your roommate has feelings and emotions- we have all heard of the golden rule, right-treat people the way you want to be treated? Lets try the platinum rule: Treat people the way they want to be treated.

4. If you want to work things out, have your actions match your thoughts. By avoiding the room, you are just avoiding your roommate and avoiding the issues.

3. Communicate. It may sound simple and really it is. In that though, be smart about your communication- while little post-it-notes, text messages, and Facebook chat are all forms of communication, no one ever said those were good ways to have a serious conversation. You cannot read emotion, inflection of voice, etc. via text, which means the subtext of the text can make the roommate situation worse.

2. Communicate (again).

1. Communicate (did I say how important this is?).

In all seriousness, if you are experiencing roommate concerns, please contact your resident assistant, your residence director or the main office for Department of Residence Life, in the University Village Suites 3051. Like a good neighbor, Residence Life is there (no pun intended).